At Age 29, I Came Out To Myself

The Bad Filipino
2 min readOct 11, 2020
Photo credit: Adam Bouska, NoH8 Campaign in 2015

TODAY is both #nationalcomingoutday (since 1988) and #internationaldayofthegirl (since 2012) — and I can celebrate them both! My pronouns are she/her, and I came out to myself in 1997. The first person I came out to was my now long time friend, Matthieu Korso.

Love who you are. Embrace yourself. Own your entity. Today is a good day to be honest with yourself. 🏳️‍🌈 ❤ 🎤

Read my interview with the NO H8 Campaign here.

At age 29 I “came out” to myself. It took me a while to follow my own heart. I spent most of my life trying to fit into the mold fashioned by my elders. But, even after I dared to take a step into a new direction… the path towards the truth.

I still found myself trying to fit into a mold.

Trying to figure out what it means to be a lesbian. And try did I ever. I fell in love three or four times. I fell into bed many, many, many times.

I even found myself engaged a couple of times.

Because I didn’t have a “type” in the beginning. And along the way, I made new friends. And lost a few family members. Because we could not see eye to eye. We know longer had anything in common to share.

I almost lost my mother. She wasn’t very happy. Mainly because she didn’t see it coming.

And as time went on…

I learned more and more about myself. Who I really am. It’s been 23 years since that moment of self-realization.

….and I am still learning about myself.

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